New Month

Maybe i should just set my goal as writing an entry a month? Though writing is my means of expression, of talking through issues which sometimes consume my thoughts....it has become more difficult to put my thoughts into words. Hoping this is a temporary state......perhaps there is so much i am wrestling with that i cannot narrow my focus enough? i have become busy with the process of day to day living.....trying to nurture new friendships.....reconnect with old friends....make progress in making myself "hirable".......trying to establish new types of relationships with my children.......avoiding or trying to avoid those "pits of despair" which seem to open in my path with little or no warning..........all this takes effort........and it makes me tired....physically, mentally, emotionally tired. Somedays it feels as if i am bobbing aimlessly in a storm wracked sea.............i can see lights in the distance and try to make my way towards them only to be knocked around by huge swells..................and all the while repeating my mantra........"find something good"......growth comes with pain...............yeah, well.......right about now........i'd like someone to rescue me for a little while.........hold me until the pain subsides then put me gently back into the sea.................