Sorrow Into Joy

I spent several hours floating in the pool with nothing in particular on my mind.  Things would float through my head much in the same way the wispy white clouds traversed the clear blue sky above me. Positive thoughts I would turn over and examine much like a child with a shiny bauble in their hands.  Then I'd put that thought away and think about breathing.  Yes, breathing slowly and deeply....imagining the air filling my lungs....the oxygen moving into my cells.  It was so calming....soothing to the point of sleep.

But as so often happens when I relax my mind and my body, thoughts turn to memories.  Some are good and bring joy. Others not so much. Those memories bring pain in the form of regrets....of cruelties inflicted whether consciously or not.....of relationships shattered by lies....on and on until I stop the roll call of hurtful thoughts. And I do this in a way that brings instant calm to my mind and heart.

I begin to pray for and about each one as it rears its head poised to strike at the peace God has brought to me. As the prayer rises from my lips the potential pain wisps away like smoke and I know God will take the hurt and turn it into something good and true.  How glad I am to have found the way to turn my sorrow into joy!  How I wish I had found it sooner...but no....God's timing is perfect .  I received it when He knew I needed it most. God is good at that....and I'm so thankful He is.

Stay True

So much pain,
So much sorrow,
Endless waves
ebbing and flowing,
crashing, growing.
No consistancy,
No view of what's approaching.

Blinded by the need
to protect.
Blindsided by someone else's
idea of love.
Wearing blinders so as to
protect my heart from what
I might see.

Floating now in the darkness
of my own choosing.
Resting in the knowledge
that within the quiet darkness
I will see what is true.

I see beyond the pain
of now,
the sorrow of today,
the crushing betrayal
of those who use love as a weapon.

The waves,
pushing me,
polishing me,
tumbling me,
toward the future,
toward myself.
Forward,
to the me that was.

Me,
who will once again thrive,
live to fight,
to be true to myself.
Just to be is to
Stay true.