I have to take a moment to share the most amazing experience! As you know, the past few weeks have been such a struggle for me.....and at times I have been terribly overwhelmed by, well, I guess you could say, life in general.
Yesterday I went to work even though it was difficult in the extreme. Since Friday is assessment day for the students, my job would not take as much out of me as usual. Most of the people I work with are very aware of my health issues and always try to be as accommodating as possible.....for which I am always grateful. Throughout the day yesterday, if I was not needed in my regular classrooms I went to help in the guidance office.
Our counselor is a caring and loving individual and sometimes she is pulled in a multitude of directions so her day to day duties....paperwork, filing, shredding.....sometimes pile up. I was giving her a hand with the shredding when the most wonderful thing happened!
She had to leave her office to direct a rewards event for 70 of our students who'd earned a "Popcorn and a Movie" party because they had reached the fund raising goal for our school....so I was alone in her office shredding a huge box full of old folders and papers.
Because the noise of the shredder can be very loud and irritating after a while, I decided to put in my earphones and listen to some music on Pandora......which I am able to do on the phone I unexpectedly had to buy. I was listening to my "Chris Tomlin Station" singing along under my breath....I wasn't really thinking about it but of course the lyrics were ministering to my heart, when something wonderful happened!
I cannot tell you today which song was playing when it happened....but suddenly I felt enveloped in a soft warm embrace and I was no longer just sitting in an empty classroom doing a mindless task.....my hands were raised in praise and the words I was singing were directed to the Heart of God and nothing else mattered! And I felt no pain...none...all I sensed was the pure, unblemished love of God filling me up body and soul. The songs changed I'm sure but I was aware of nothing but that Loving Presence.
Not sure how long it lasted because I was unaware of time until the bell rang and I found myself sitting in that chair in front of the shredder with papers clutched in my hand. At least ten minutes passed before I was able to stand and clean up my work area.....and the whole time I kept thinking....Wow....just wow.
My normal bearable pain is still with me but for that pocket of time yesterday I felt nothing but the wonder, the joy, the peace that being totally in God's Presence brings. And I know that one day when my time here on this earthly plain is complete that is the feeling I will experience for eternity.
Showing posts with label God's presence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God's presence. Show all posts
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Monday, July 30, 2012
At Peace With Myself
"In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." Psalm 4:8
Today was such a good day. I had minimal pain from the incision site.....I slept well....I felt, well, peaceful.....and I still do. Those who know me well will appreciate that comment. You see I have always been an emotional person and have not been shy about showing my emotions.....maybe it is the Italian in me. Needless to say, that particular trait is not always conducive to feeling at peace.
There is no doubt as to the source of my new found peace....communing daily with God. By communing, I mean more than just praying because I have always been a great believer in the power of prayer........though I had the misconception that it was meant for others more 'worthy' than myself.
If you've been reading my blog for any time you know that I have recently discovered that God loves me, has always loved me, very much! And that not only am I worthy of prayer....I mean so much to God that He wants me in His Presence......yep, He really does! I rejoice in that knowledge constantly.
Back to communing.....for me this means waking up every morning eager to read God's Word and increase my understanding of how awesome God is......it means talking to God about whatever may be troubling me...asking Him to show me how I can better become the woman He needs me to be......sharing with Him the problems friends and loved ones may be experiencing...........and lately, it has been about resting.....letting God take care of me and the ones I love.....not worrying because I have faith that God is in charge of me.
For so long, I felt that it was my job to worry about anything, everything, anyone and everyone.......that is NOT a peaceful feeling. Furthermore it didn't do one bit of good.....not for me nor for the things I worried about.
Now, instead of worrying, I talk to God and feel the warmth and peace of His presence sooth my mind and my heart. He keeps me safe from thoughts which are negative and have no benefit to me.....He brought peace to my spirit and I like the person His peace has helped me become.
Today was such a good day. I had minimal pain from the incision site.....I slept well....I felt, well, peaceful.....and I still do. Those who know me well will appreciate that comment. You see I have always been an emotional person and have not been shy about showing my emotions.....maybe it is the Italian in me. Needless to say, that particular trait is not always conducive to feeling at peace.
There is no doubt as to the source of my new found peace....communing daily with God. By communing, I mean more than just praying because I have always been a great believer in the power of prayer........though I had the misconception that it was meant for others more 'worthy' than myself.
If you've been reading my blog for any time you know that I have recently discovered that God loves me, has always loved me, very much! And that not only am I worthy of prayer....I mean so much to God that He wants me in His Presence......yep, He really does! I rejoice in that knowledge constantly.
Back to communing.....for me this means waking up every morning eager to read God's Word and increase my understanding of how awesome God is......it means talking to God about whatever may be troubling me...asking Him to show me how I can better become the woman He needs me to be......sharing with Him the problems friends and loved ones may be experiencing...........and lately, it has been about resting.....letting God take care of me and the ones I love.....not worrying because I have faith that God is in charge of me.
For so long, I felt that it was my job to worry about anything, everything, anyone and everyone.......that is NOT a peaceful feeling. Furthermore it didn't do one bit of good.....not for me nor for the things I worried about.
Now, instead of worrying, I talk to God and feel the warmth and peace of His presence sooth my mind and my heart. He keeps me safe from thoughts which are negative and have no benefit to me.....He brought peace to my spirit and I like the person His peace has helped me become.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
God's Perfect Timing
"How precious is your steadfast love, O God! The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings." Psalm 36 : 7
Have you ever been in the midst of some great trial or tribulation, been experiencing a devastating loss, or felt like your troubles were increasing with flood like speed and thought, "why is this happening God? Why? What possible good can come from this?"
I cannot tell you the number of times I have shouted at God and told Him, "I have had enough...I can't take it anymore!" I've wept copious tears and as you know, pulled myself as far from God as I could, all because of my inability to let God work in His own time.......like I've said, I cannot see the big picture of my life, but God can and does.
This morning as I had my 'quiet time' before the day begins.....my time to be in God's presence, to lift my face to Him and say I love You Lord and I am yours......fill me up with the desire to do what You would have me do today....................He showed me moments from my past, moments when I felt there could be no possible reason for Him to let things happen the way they did! And He showed me why I needed it to happen.
I want to share a few with you if I may.
When my first son was born the labor was long and difficult for me and for him. Within a few hours of his birth, the pediatrician came to me and said my precious baby was a very sick little boy. Because of the long labor, Michael had aspiration pneumonia and would need to be transported to a larger hospital in Montgomery where there was a neonatal intensive care unit. Can you imagine the fear and anguish racing through me? And then to be told I could not be released for another 3-4 days? Why God? Why? I could not see any purpose in God allowing me to endure this......until later.
Five years later, a dear friend gave birth to a sweet baby girl that they had prayed for and longed for. The day after her birth my friend called with the news that her baby girl was so very sick and could I please come be with her as she sat by her baby's bed in the hospital? Of course I could and I did.....and because I had been through much the same experience with my own baby, I knew the kind of comfort that new mother needed, knew the prayers to pray, knew what to do. God's timing my friends....He knew what my friend needed before anyone else and He prepared someone, me, to provide it.
A few years before my youngest son was born, I suffered a devastating miscarriage. It plunged me into a depression so deep I doubted I would recover. Why God? Why do this to me? You know how much my babies mean to me? What lesson are you trying to teach me? And of course there was a purpose, His plan in action.
Within a year, a young couple we knew went through the same thing....and yes, God gave me the words to say to provide the comfort she needed....and we grieved together for the loss of our children. God's timing although I didn't see it then.
Most recently, I have been trying desperately to find a 'real' teaching job which is difficult for a woman of my age in this economy and in the area of expertise in which I wanted to teach-English/Speech. However, for some reason, there were three openings in our city school system AND I was able to secure interviews for all three! I felt that God was answering my prayer....and He was....just not in the way I had anticipated.
I had three wonderful interviews and was so excited at the opportunity to be able to teach a subject I enjoyed. In my head, I began making plans for my classroom and for the students I would teach!! Then I received one very encouraging letter and two very polite phone calls....."you have so much to offer BUT we've decided to go in another direction." Just like that my world came crashing down....and continued to fall in around me until that fateful night God stepped in and said, ENOUGH!
Now looking back I can see that God answered my prayers perfectly. Had I gotten any one of those jobs it would have been too much especially given the fact I had to have major surgery with a fairly long recovery period. I would have killed myself trying to have everything ready for school to start and probably would have lengthened my recovery time as a result. Yes, God's timing is perfect even if we don't see it at the time.
So what am I going to work on? Well, first and foremost, understanding that even when things seem to be going so badly.....God has a reason, a lesson for me to learn and I have to be willing to be patient about finding out what it might be......not easy for me I confess. Secondly, I have to remember to take comfort in His steadfast love, and when the pain is great I can take "refuge in the shadow of His wings." And lastly, I have to remember not to pray 'answers' to my prayers.....I just need to pray my heart and let God's answers come....His timing is perfect.
Have you ever been in the midst of some great trial or tribulation, been experiencing a devastating loss, or felt like your troubles were increasing with flood like speed and thought, "why is this happening God? Why? What possible good can come from this?"
I cannot tell you the number of times I have shouted at God and told Him, "I have had enough...I can't take it anymore!" I've wept copious tears and as you know, pulled myself as far from God as I could, all because of my inability to let God work in His own time.......like I've said, I cannot see the big picture of my life, but God can and does.
This morning as I had my 'quiet time' before the day begins.....my time to be in God's presence, to lift my face to Him and say I love You Lord and I am yours......fill me up with the desire to do what You would have me do today....................He showed me moments from my past, moments when I felt there could be no possible reason for Him to let things happen the way they did! And He showed me why I needed it to happen.
I want to share a few with you if I may.
When my first son was born the labor was long and difficult for me and for him. Within a few hours of his birth, the pediatrician came to me and said my precious baby was a very sick little boy. Because of the long labor, Michael had aspiration pneumonia and would need to be transported to a larger hospital in Montgomery where there was a neonatal intensive care unit. Can you imagine the fear and anguish racing through me? And then to be told I could not be released for another 3-4 days? Why God? Why? I could not see any purpose in God allowing me to endure this......until later.
Five years later, a dear friend gave birth to a sweet baby girl that they had prayed for and longed for. The day after her birth my friend called with the news that her baby girl was so very sick and could I please come be with her as she sat by her baby's bed in the hospital? Of course I could and I did.....and because I had been through much the same experience with my own baby, I knew the kind of comfort that new mother needed, knew the prayers to pray, knew what to do. God's timing my friends....He knew what my friend needed before anyone else and He prepared someone, me, to provide it.
A few years before my youngest son was born, I suffered a devastating miscarriage. It plunged me into a depression so deep I doubted I would recover. Why God? Why do this to me? You know how much my babies mean to me? What lesson are you trying to teach me? And of course there was a purpose, His plan in action.
Within a year, a young couple we knew went through the same thing....and yes, God gave me the words to say to provide the comfort she needed....and we grieved together for the loss of our children. God's timing although I didn't see it then.
Most recently, I have been trying desperately to find a 'real' teaching job which is difficult for a woman of my age in this economy and in the area of expertise in which I wanted to teach-English/Speech. However, for some reason, there were three openings in our city school system AND I was able to secure interviews for all three! I felt that God was answering my prayer....and He was....just not in the way I had anticipated.
I had three wonderful interviews and was so excited at the opportunity to be able to teach a subject I enjoyed. In my head, I began making plans for my classroom and for the students I would teach!! Then I received one very encouraging letter and two very polite phone calls....."you have so much to offer BUT we've decided to go in another direction." Just like that my world came crashing down....and continued to fall in around me until that fateful night God stepped in and said, ENOUGH!
Now looking back I can see that God answered my prayers perfectly. Had I gotten any one of those jobs it would have been too much especially given the fact I had to have major surgery with a fairly long recovery period. I would have killed myself trying to have everything ready for school to start and probably would have lengthened my recovery time as a result. Yes, God's timing is perfect even if we don't see it at the time.
So what am I going to work on? Well, first and foremost, understanding that even when things seem to be going so badly.....God has a reason, a lesson for me to learn and I have to be willing to be patient about finding out what it might be......not easy for me I confess. Secondly, I have to remember to take comfort in His steadfast love, and when the pain is great I can take "refuge in the shadow of His wings." And lastly, I have to remember not to pray 'answers' to my prayers.....I just need to pray my heart and let God's answers come....His timing is perfect.
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