Answered Prayers

Last week was pretty amazing! Not sure what to share first because it is all good. I'll try to remember it chronologically.

Keep in mind the roller coaster I endured over the past 8 months with regards to my job. I believe it was Tuesday afternoon. The day had passed quickly and I had just walked one of my precious students to meet his Mama at the front of the school. My heart was warm at the image of the smiling child and his smiling Mama. This was not always the case for them however that is a story for another day. As I walked back to the classroom to get things ready for the next day, it hit me. The knowledge that I was "home," in the place where I belonged! Believe me when I say I never thought I would feel that way after 16 years in a different school. But I did... I do.

I still love my friends from my old school....still talk to them....still see them....enjoy going out to dinner with them. That will never change. But my job has changed....and it has become even more of a blessing.

The next day was my birthday. I didn't say anything to anyone at my new workplace about it but thanks to FB I was greeted with "Happy Birthday!" from several people throughout the day. It was nice. Then two of my new friends took me out to dinner to celebrate! I felt so special.

Now I have to say I believe very strongly in answered prayers. That being said, I also am certain the answer will sometimes be no, not right now. This week I had a prayer answered in a most wonderful way. I live in a two bedroom apartment but there has been no real bed in the room since I moved in. For a while an inflatable mattress served the purpose then a twin mattress on the floor. I simply couldn't save enough to buy a bed although I tried. So I decided to pray about it....and I did. For months I talked to God about the situation....and being my bossy self, I made some suggestions....He said He would handle it. So every few prayers I would let God know how excited I was to see how He handled it.

I received a text early in the week from one of my "old" friends. She and her husband had decided they were upgrading to a King bed and would I like to have their queen mattress and box springs! AND they would bring it over and set it up! Well, yes, yes I would! Another friend heard what was going on and provided a mattress frame. My daughter and son in law spent half the day Saturday helping me get all the junk out of the room and to the Christian Mission.

There is a song that says something like, God put a million doors on earth for His love to walk through let one of those doors be you! I heard it today and thought, that is how He did it! Those friends were willing to let God's love walk through them to me....and my prayers were answered with lots of love.

He's Not Finished With Me Yet

Saturday mornings are so nice....being able to actually savor my coffee instead of being in a mad rush to get out the door and to work. On mornings like this I move at a much slower pace. It is my one day to reflect, recuperate, and refuel for the week ahead. When I got out of bed  it was 27 degrees and actually felt like winter. Now I'm bundled into my soft and ratty robe with some thick socks on my feet ready to write and share.

The past two weeks have gone surprisingly well as far as my health issues are concerned. The pain has been bearable and I've not felt quite as exhausted after work every day. I must confess I did have a 'moment' yesterday. After work I stopped by the store for a few things....eggs, vegs, pasta....so by the time I arrived home my energy was pretty much nonexistent. Got out of the car, grabbed my school bag, my laptop, the groceries and walked the few steps to my building. As I stood at the foot of the stairs leading up to my apartment looking up, I felt overwhelmed......and started to cry! Thank goodness no one was around to see. I wept all the way up the stairs and into my apartment.

After I'd composed myself, I put away my groceries and called my Mama.  I do this every afternoon because my parents like the reassurance that I am safely ensconced in my home after a long day.  We spoke generalities for the first few minutes....you know, how was your day, what did you do, etc.....then Mama asked how I was doing and the tears came again. I think I gave her a bit of a fright because she couldn't understand me through the tears. When I finally got things under control, she comforted me with these words.

She told me she prays for me every day, every time she thinks of me she says a prayer and asks God to send me a miracle......at that point I told her that God hears her prayers because my life is full of  miracles and blessings from God.  Sometimes that is hard for others to understand because they still think of miracles in all caps....you know MIRACLES!!! I used to think that way too. Not anymore.

Over the past six months I've experienced miracles and blessings enough to know without a doubt God loves and cares for me.  My son and I talked about the difference between miracles and blessings......miracles are things ONLY God can do......blessings are the things other people do because God is working through them. And just so you'll know, it is all wonderful.

I arrived at work yesterday morning feeling so full of joy I thought I might explode! And though I had a minor meltdown at one point.....at the end of the day, my joy was still complete. There is a song I heard on the radio that stayed with me all through yesterday and is still in my head this morning.....something to the affect of........God knows the plans He has for me, I know He won't forget, He's not finished with me yet, He's not finished with me yet.

I find much comfort in that thought.

God's Perfect Timing

"How precious is your steadfast love, O God! The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings." Psalm 36 : 7

Have you ever been in the midst of some great trial or tribulation, been experiencing a devastating loss, or felt like your troubles were increasing with flood like speed and thought, "why is this happening God?  Why? What possible good can come from this?"

I cannot tell you the number of times I have shouted at God and told Him, "I have had enough...I can't take it anymore!" I've wept copious tears and as you know, pulled myself as far from God as I could, all because of my inability to let God work in His own time.......like I've said, I cannot see the big picture of my life, but God can and does.

This morning as I had my 'quiet time' before the day begins.....my time to be in God's presence, to lift my face to Him and say I love You Lord and I am yours......fill me up with the desire to do what You would have me do today....................He showed me moments from my past, moments when I felt there could be no possible reason for Him to let things happen the way they did! And He showed me why I needed it to happen.

I want to share a few with you if I may. 

When my first son was born the labor was long and difficult for me and for him.  Within a few hours of his birth, the pediatrician came to me and said my precious baby was a very sick little boy.  Because of the long labor, Michael had aspiration pneumonia and would need to be transported to a larger hospital in Montgomery where there was a neonatal intensive care unit. Can you imagine the fear and anguish racing through me? And then to be told I could not be released for another 3-4 days?  Why God?  Why? I could not see any purpose in God allowing me to endure this......until later.

Five years later, a dear friend gave birth to a sweet baby girl that they had prayed for and longed for.  The day after her birth my friend called with the news that her baby girl was so very sick and could I please come be with her as she sat by her baby's bed in the hospital?  Of course I could and I did.....and because I had been through much the same experience with my own baby, I knew the kind of comfort that new mother needed, knew the prayers to pray, knew what to do. God's timing my friends....He knew what my friend needed before anyone else and He prepared someone, me, to provide it.

A few years before my youngest son was born, I suffered a devastating miscarriage.  It plunged me into a depression so deep I doubted I would recover.  Why God? Why do this to me? You know how much my babies mean to me?  What lesson are you trying to teach me?  And of course there was a purpose, His plan in action.

Within a year, a young couple we knew went through the same thing....and yes, God gave me the words to say to provide the comfort she needed....and we grieved together for the loss of our children.  God's timing although I didn't see it then.

Most recently, I have been trying desperately to find a 'real' teaching job which is difficult for a woman of my age in this economy and in the area of expertise in which I wanted to teach-English/Speech.  However, for some reason, there were three openings in our city school system AND I was able to secure interviews for all three! I felt that God was answering my prayer....and He was....just not in the way I had anticipated.

  I had three wonderful interviews and was so excited at the opportunity to be able to teach a subject I enjoyed.  In my head, I began making plans for my classroom and for the students I would teach!! Then I received one very encouraging letter and two very polite phone calls....."you have so much to offer BUT we've decided to go in another direction."  Just like that my world came crashing down....and continued to fall in around me until that fateful night God stepped in and said, ENOUGH!

Now looking back I can see that God answered my prayers perfectly.  Had I gotten any one of those jobs it would have been too much especially given the fact I had to have major surgery with a fairly long recovery period.  I would have killed myself trying to have everything ready for school to start and probably would have lengthened my recovery time as a result.  Yes, God's timing is perfect even if we don't see it at the time.

So what am I going to work on?  Well, first and foremost, understanding that even when things seem to be going so badly.....God has a reason, a lesson for me to learn and I have to be willing to be patient about finding out what it might be......not easy for me I confess. Secondly, I have to remember to take comfort in His steadfast love,  and when the pain is great I can take "refuge in the shadow of His wings." And lastly, I have to remember not to pray 'answers' to my prayers.....I just need to pray my heart and let God's answers come....His timing is perfect.