All Things Work Together

The past few weeks have been mentally, emotionally and physically trying. Pain has crept subtly in and is exerting itself quite forcefully.  I can attribute it to many things...some I can talk about and others I cannot.  Stress definitely has increased the length of this pain flare. I'm exhausted body and soul.  Suffice it to say our Spring Break cannot get here soon enough!

This morning as I had a cup of tea....I was scrolling through Facebook and happened to see an article entitled, "My Family is a Prime Example of the Working Poor." Curiosity made me pause and actually read the article by Marjorie Jenkins written in December 2016. Although I don't know the author, she was writing about me...about my life! It was a real eye opener for me.

To be quite honest, she wasn't writing just about me...she was writing about those of us who followed the "rules." We went to college, got a job, had a family and worked hard to achieve the "American Dream." Never did I imagine that I would find myself, at this stage of my life, working a full time job plus a part time job plus earning a bit of extra cash by selling my art simply to pay my bills. Those who know me are aware I live by a very tight budget....no frills....fun times have to be saved for....and heaven forbid I have unexpected doctor's visits. Until reading this article, I didn't think of myself as "poor."

Yes the days when I could splurge on things like books, a night at the movies, dinner out with friends are long gone. But to realize living paycheck to paycheck classifies me as one of the "working poor" was a bit disconcerting....and embarrassing quite frankly. I don't think my friends and coworkers see me as poor...at least I hope not.

All that being said...I'm happy.  It is the kind of happiness which comes from knowing and accepting "all things work together for good to those who love God." I spent a good portion of my life basing my concept of happiness on things, people, events. There was even a point several years ago when I had to admit I had no idea what real happiness meant and I felt like I'd never know 'happiness' again.

For me the realization that God is all I need opened the door to my happiness. And the key to that door was learning to love God by accepting the love He has for me.  That precious love contains all I need for any situation I may encounter....grace, peace, joy, salvation, encouragement, wisdom.  Because He is all I need, my prayers have become simple.

When I'm in pain, I ask God to cradle me in His arms so the pain is easier to bear. As stress threatens to overtake me, I ask God to stand between me and whatever is causing the stress thus allowing me to become more calm. When sadness seems overwhelming, God gently reminds me of all that is good in my life. Whatever the situation, He is there for me with whatever I might need.

I may be considered one of the "working poor" by some definitions and I have had a rough couple of weeks. Regardless of those things...My faith in God has sustained me and I am constantly amazed by His goodness.  It is actually quite wonderful to see how He meets my needs....every day and in every way.

Life is a Whirlpool

"I'm so dizzy my head is spinning....like a whirlpool it never ends...."

My head really is spinning because for some reason I'm having trouble with my inner ear! Yesterday was dreadful...I stood up and the room tilted dramatically....and then there was the nausea....yuck.  Today is somewhat better.  As long as I can touch the wall...furniture...anything solid when I walk...then the room remains stationary.  When seated, if my head is pressed into the back of the chair or sofa, then I am or rather my vision remains steady.  I have to be anchored in some way.

What an apt description of my life! To remain upright and steady, to travel on a straight path, I need to be anchored to something solid and steadfast. And I know this how? Because for a good part of my life I wasn't anchored to anything and my life reflected it.  I was constantly unbalanced by troubles and problems which of course I "handled" by myself.  As a result I often ended up flat on my back with tears running down my face.

My anchor is my faith.  My faith is in God. Although simplistic, it works for me.  Of course there are those who would question the simplicity of it.....argue with my reasoning....whatever.....because they want to "understand" or more often than not, they want to "prove" to me how wrong I am.  But here it is, my faith is just that, my faith. I do not have to prove it to you or anyone else for that very reason.  You have to discover your own faith.....my faith has been grown through a multitude of trials and tribulations....as yours must be, if it is to work for you.

Start at my beginning point....trust in God......then and only then will your faith begin to grow.  Use God as your anchor in this ever spinning world of choices, trial, tribulations, etc.  He will keep you steady.

Focus on the Positive

Had an up and down kind of day.  Because of the biopsy I'm facing next week I had a call in to my cousin who is an outstanding Physician's Assistant.  We had a nice long talk about the issues with my diabetes and the two masses on my thyroid gland.  He was reassuring and gave me lots of information and questions to ask my doctor before the procedure.  He also made me feel comfortable with the probability that ,given the size and location of the largest mass I was almost certainly looking at surgery.  My options will be determined by the outcome of the biopsy.

So.....whether I am facing cancer or not is still to be determined.  If cancer is present....it still needs to be decided what kind.  And on and on....I could drive myself crazy.  Right now, all I'm focusing on is the first step....the biopsy which takes place in 5 days.  Positive thoughts and many prayers.....and my faith in a loving God will get me through.