Life is a Whirlpool

"I'm so dizzy my head is spinning....like a whirlpool it never ends...."

My head really is spinning because for some reason I'm having trouble with my inner ear! Yesterday was dreadful...I stood up and the room tilted dramatically....and then there was the nausea....yuck.  Today is somewhat better.  As long as I can touch the wall...furniture...anything solid when I walk...then the room remains stationary.  When seated, if my head is pressed into the back of the chair or sofa, then I am or rather my vision remains steady.  I have to be anchored in some way.

What an apt description of my life! To remain upright and steady, to travel on a straight path, I need to be anchored to something solid and steadfast. And I know this how? Because for a good part of my life I wasn't anchored to anything and my life reflected it.  I was constantly unbalanced by troubles and problems which of course I "handled" by myself.  As a result I often ended up flat on my back with tears running down my face.

My anchor is my faith.  My faith is in God. Although simplistic, it works for me.  Of course there are those who would question the simplicity of it.....argue with my reasoning....whatever.....because they want to "understand" or more often than not, they want to "prove" to me how wrong I am.  But here it is, my faith is just that, my faith. I do not have to prove it to you or anyone else for that very reason.  You have to discover your own faith.....my faith has been grown through a multitude of trials and tribulations....as yours must be, if it is to work for you.

Start at my beginning point....trust in God......then and only then will your faith begin to grow.  Use God as your anchor in this ever spinning world of choices, trial, tribulations, etc.  He will keep you steady.

A Work in Progress

"The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in Him." Nahum 1:7

Not many people know this, but I have trust issues.  I haven't always been this way but over time I've been lied to by people I cared about and whom I trusted. Those situations made me a bit leery of believing what I'm told....made me build walls around my heart.....turned me into a sort of loner. Frankly I don't know if I'm totally over that feeling.....but I'm trying.

"He cares for those who trust Him." Funny thing is....I have no trouble trusting God.  He has always been honest with me.......He doesn't hold back....He loves me unconditionally.  If there are any problems in my relationship with God, those issues have come from me.  And I am working on those daily.

I've been told that having no expectations is the way to avoid disappointment....and for a while I bought into that train of thought.  But I'm beginning to think that having expectations can lead to good things. For example, by treating my students with respect and courtesy I can "expect" them to know they are important to me. By keeping my word, I can "expect" people to know I am trustworthy.

When I pray, my expectation is that God hears me and responds. He has never disappointed me....the only time I experience disappointment is if I tell God how I think He should respond! God always listens and answers.....sometimes the answer is "wait." Or as He often has to remind me, "be still."

"The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble." I am living proof of that. Sometimes we forget that God is with us in good times as well....and yes, I'm working on living that way as well! Do you know what I've discovered about that mindset? If I am busy praising and thanking God for all the good I see around me, my attitude is better....it becomes easier to be hopeful....to be encouraging...to be helpful. In short, it becomes easier to trust God about everything.

So trusting in God is helping me open my heart again...to not be afraid of being hurt....to live life with hope. I trusted God to heal my heart....and He did.

Facing Temptation

Because of my recent surgery, I was unable to attend my church for the past two weeks....I missed it a lot. Although I prayed and meditated on God's Word every day, there is just something amazing about doing the same thing in a room full of others doing the same thing!  All those prayers being lifted up....all those praises for the things God is doing in each heart......all those believers asking God's Spirit to fill our hearts..........believe me when I say God was present.

One really important reason for being part of a body of believers became so apparent to me today.  Over the past few days my heart has been tempted......and it would be so easy to slide back into giving in to those temptations.  And honestly, it doesn't matter what my personal temptations are because we all have temptations we face daily. Only my best friend knew of my struggles with this issue.....or so I let myself think.

Imagine my surprise when our pastor began his lesson today with the following Scripture:

"Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away." James 1 :14

Another reminder that God knows everything about me!  He knows my heart....my mind...my weaknesses...and my strengths. AND He knows how to get my attention!  Sitting there today I realized there is nothing, nothing as important to me as being in God's Will for my life.  Yes, there are things I think I want or need, but if it takes my focus from God.....then it is not good for me.  If it is not something which glorifies Him then I don't want or need it.....period. I have lived away from God and I do not want to be away from Him again.

Our pastor went on to share the way we can resist temptation.  He shared Psalm 37 : 1-6 as a kind of blueprint I guess you could say.  The verse which resonated within my heart was verse 5 which says, "Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him and He will help you." That is my plan.  Whenever I am tempted.....I will turn that false desire over to God and He will help me.  Since we are all tempted daily.....I plan on taking more "delight in the Lord" because the closer I become to Him then the "desires of my heart" become more in line with what delights God.

Today God confirmed that He cares about me every-single-day, and He will use whatever means necessary to remind me of that fact.  I also know that if I do stumble, which is inevitable, He will pick me up, dust me off, and put me back on the path He has for me.