Saying,"Yes to the Dress"

Ah summer! That time of year we look forward to with such anticipation....and it simply flies past! I always have such great plans for my free time....but I'm learning that life doesn't always proceed according to one's plans. And that's OK too!

This week my mother, my daughter and I went shopping for a wedding gown.  Three generations with three differing opinions of what constitutes a beautiful wedding gown....a recipe for disaster? With the plethora of wedding and bridal shows on television...."Bridezilla" and "Say Yes to the Dress" immediately spring to mind....the idea of feuding family members and spoiled brides seems to be the expected! I was determined that was not to be the case on our quest for the perfect dress!

Like most bride's, my daughter had been perusing bridal magazines and various websites to get an idea of what was available in the way of bridal finery.  And in the course of her research had developed a definite idea of the type of gown she felt would be the 'perfect' dress for her special day. It was fun to get emails saying she'd posted a new photo on her Pinterest wedding board! I loved seeing what she'd found. Of course there were budget constraints....which quickly eliminated some of her choices.  Being ever practical, her attitude was, 'why fall in love with a dress if we can't afford it?' Smart girl my daughter!

The day of the shopping trip I fortified myself with three cups of coffee and lots of prayer! My goal was to make sure this day was all about the bride....what she wanted....not what I or her grandmother wanted.  If she felt beautiful, that was all that mattered! So I wiped any preconceived ideas from my brain and sat back prepared to be supportive of any and all choices. Armed with a list of bridal shops within a fifty mile radius, we proceeded to the first on the list.....a local shop where we actually had an 'appointment.'

I have to say, the people in the shop were amazing! We were made to feel as if they were as excited about my daughter's wedding as we were. And it was nice that the young woman who waited on us was also someone my daughter had known and like in high school. She did an outstanding job of keeping the focus on the bride's wants and was encouraging and supportive to her as well. Between the two of them, a selection of gowns was chosen and the fashion show began!

When my daughter stepped out of the dressing room, my breath caught and time stood still....in that moment, memories of my baby girl came rushing and swirling through my heart.....images of the tomboyish little girl refusing to wear the prissy bows in her hair....she and two friends grinning from ear to ear and covered in red mud from head to toe....and as she grew, headstrong and determined to maintain "her style" regardless of what the fashion of the day was.........and there she stood, tears sparkling in her eyes, literally looking like a goddess and all I could do was nod.

I will hold that moment in my heart always....the moment my little girl became the woman she was destined to be....strong, elegant, beautiful in a classic way.....and perhaps most importantly, true to herself.

The Wedding

The wedding planning has begun! And I am slightly overwhelmed by the number of details one must attend to in order to have a successful event.  My respect for event planners and coordinators has increased dramatically.  My daughter, her fiance, her Dad and I met this past weekend to discuss some of the myriad of details which must be decided upon.  It lasted 3 hours and at the end of that time.....we had a date.....a venue... a photographer....a florist.......and a list of caterers to call. Nothing has been finalized except the date and venue.....everything else is contingent upon availability.

Do you know how far in advance you need to begin in order to have everything fall in place the way one envisioned?  Neither do I apparently....

Nor did I realize how quickly a small wedding turns into a much larger wedding.....very quickly.  Initially I'd thought, with help from friends and family, I'd be able to put together a sweet, romantic wedding for my daughter. That is not to be.  As such, caterers, florists, photographers all must be hired....in addition to audio/visual technicians..an organist and pianist..custodians....kitchen workers....the list goes on.

I now have in my possession a "wedding notebook" in which I record every thought I have about The Wedding!  It goes with me everywhere....so I can record where I saw "wedding bubbles" for sale and for how much.......or places to look for that ribbon we need in that extra special shade.....or menu samples from caterers....One just never knows! This morning I found three more silver hairs on top of my head.....natural aging or results of the The Wedding?  You decide.

It will all come together....eventually.  And all that really matters is that in about ten months, my daughter will become the wife of the man she loves and who loves her.......

Future Plans

What a wonderful week!  Spent 3 1/2 days with my best friend...rested....did lots of thinking...enjoyed the time away.

There is this sense deep within me of a change coming....not sure what shape it will take...but it is coming.  Sounds silly doesn't it? I'm sure it is all tied into the fact that my one and only daughter is now engaged to be married. Although it has only been one week, things have already begun changing.

The best change so far has been the time I've spent talking, texting, being with my daughter.  Its as if we are finally becoming friends in addition to a mother /daughter combo. There has been a fence between us since she was junior high age....the fence became a wall during my divorce. But the wall slowly started coming down about a year ago....one brick at a time. This week we've talked or texted daily, have gone out to lunch, have laughed and cried together. For me, it has been glorious.

One thing I've learned this week is that putting a wedding together will be fun....and torture. I never knew how many tiny details have to be decided and decided upon before a wedding can actually happen.  First and foremost has been to decide on a date.  Sounds easy right? Nope. After a great deal of talking and checking of calendars and schedules, she thought they'd found the perfect date....no one had a birthday, there was no national holiday, etc. Perfect.....and then....

We started talking about her younger brother's work schedule at Auburn University...he works as a videographer for the football team....and I decided to double check the football schedule. If you are from the South then you understand how crucial that is in the Fall.  And when we did....oh my goodness! The date we'd thought so perfect only moments before turned out to be the very Saturday the Iron Bowl is to be played at Auburn University!  There is no way my only daughter's wedding would be scheduled for the Saturday the biggest football rivalry in the South is to be played. I had alternating visions of no one attending or everyone wearing ear buds to follow the play by play during the ceremony and reception.!!! It has happened people.

So now we have gone back to searching calendars, double checking schedules, looking at venue availability. We don't have a date yet but that is okay.  It will be set and then the real fun will begin.  I want it to be a day of happy memories for my little girl and the man who will become my son....and I will do whatever she needs me to do in order to insure that it will be.

Big News!!

Big news! My daughter is getting married....which means I'm going to become a mother-in law....yikes! Having just defined my 'new normal' I find myself having to tweak it a bit. Let's see I am now a daughter, a sister, an ex-wife, a mother, an aunt, a teacher, a writer, an artist, and now I'm adding a new role to the mix.....it is a bit daunting. Will have to absorb it all and see what transpires.

Let me tell you about the how the proposal went....that's always fun isn't

The first time I met him, he was somewhat quiet but the thing that struck me was the way he looked at my daughter. There was absolute love in his eyes....and five years later, it is still there.  He treats her with kindness and courtesy that isn't forced but a natural part of his personality.  He cherishes her and as her mother, that is what I want for her.  He has been with her through some rough patches over the past five years and says that he admires her strength in dealing with them.....he's also had to deal with her stubbornness and temper and still looks at her with love....a good man.

Fast forward a bit....last Friday he called to speak with me....rather he called to ask for her hand in marriage...which touched my heart.  I know he also spoke with her father but the fact that he honored me with the same courtesy says a lot about the kind of man he is.  He regretted not being able to speak with me face to face...but as he lives in another city the time constraints were difficult. As for myself, the fact that he thought enough of me to call was enough.  You see, since my divorce, my daughter and I have had a very rocky time.....very rough on both of us....but over the past year we've slowly begun building a better relationship.  Although there were times I thought she would never include me in any part of her life.....it was devastating.  But we are both in a better place now I think....

Okay enough about that.  On to the proposal itself......he proved himself a romantic in my eyes!  Under the pretext of going to see his relatives, he got my daughter up bright and early to drive to the event...."a family reunion" ha ha.  It is about an hour drive and they had to go through the town where my daughter attended university. Under the guise of needing coffee before seeing the family, he took her to a little coffee shop....the one where they had their first 'date'...yes, I know...romantic.  AND he had one of his cousins staked out to video the proposal!  I know, I know!!  Anyway, he had the ring on top of the cup around a chocolate covered coffee bean....and he went down on one knee and everything......he was crying, she was crying, the cousin was crying.....it was amazing! I'm crying just thinking about it.

The afternoon became a whirlwind of telling everyone and showing the ring and all the things which go along with becoming engaged.

It would be easy for me to get wrapped up in all that lies ahead....but I've learned to take one day at a time. Making plans for the wedding will come...but for now, I am content in knowing that my daughter is happy and loved by a good man......the other things will come, in time.  My prayers for my daughter have always included her husband to be......and now that he is here in her life and he has a name....my prayers will be more specific.  And as always I will trust God to take care of them both.