It has been a rough week my friends! My health issues have pushed themselves to the forefront of my consciousness and I don't like it.....don't like thinking about them, dealing with them, having them!
Being a diabetic, I keep a careful watch on my blood sugar levels. I check them at least four times daily, and sometimes more. Over the past week my sugars have bottomed out on several occasions which left me feeling awful! Imagine feeling nauseous and not wanting to eat, but knowing one's sugar levels depend on eating proper food at proper times....yeah, that's what its been like.
On top of those issues, I'm dealing with a horrible fibro pain flair! The worst I've had in ages and ages.....and it has made me angry and difficult to be around. I'm really trying hard to work through all this but am not making much progress. Being an optimistic person in general, it is usually easy for me to see the bright side of any given situation. This week, not so much.
I just don't have the strength right now I think. And don't know any thing to do about it but pray. Tough thing is I'm not even sure what to say any more. There was one other time in my life when I felt this way.....I had a devastating miscarriage and afterwards didn't know how to ask God to help me. Words wouldn't come....all I could do was weep. I remember laying in my bed day after day unable to move, the tears coursing silently down my face while I struggled with how to word my plea. At one point, I remember whispering "God....God....God." For months, His name became my only prayer.....and you know what? He heard me and healed my hurting heart.
There is a Scripture which tells us that He knows the desires of hearts....and in my case, that proved true. Without the words He knew what I wanted, what I needed, and as promised, He took care of it. Now finding myself in a place where I don't really know what I want or need....where I can't voice what I don't know....God hears me. My responsibility is to let Him handle it because I know that is the only way I can deal with all I am facing this week. So my prayer once again becomes one word....God....God...God....and as before He hears me.