Glacier National Park 2010

Thursday, November 28, 2013

My New Motto

Thanksgiving morning! So many memories....so much to be thankful for....and a decision made, to live thankfully every day!

This month I have seen many friends on Facebook posting daily the things for which they are thankful.  Reading them was a reminder of all the blessings one can be touched by....and also, a list of the ways one can spread the kindness. Now, more than at any other time, I see a pressing need for all of us to reach out in love, in kindness, in friendship to the people who are cohabitants of this planet with us!

There is a saying, "good things come to those who wait," which I've decided to change a bit....in order to fit the way I want to live.

"Goodness comes to those who wait for God's plan to unfold...."

The past several years have been filled with lessons for me from a God who has proved over and over again how much He loves me.  To be honest I've not always 'waited' patiently for His plan to unfold...but I'm beginning to see how much better it works when I do! For example.....

My relationship with my daughter has always, always, been a tempestuous one! And after my divorce, it became even more difficult.  As I've said before, there were times when I doubted we would ever share the kind of relationship I have always craved.  Well, guess what?! My 'baby girl' spent the night with me last night....and we've spent this morning laughing, drinking coffee, and preparing food to take to my parents' Thanksgiving dinner.  I had a chance to share family recipes and cooking 'secrets' with my soon to be married daughter....and it made my heart so glad!

Many sleepless nights filled with tearful prayers coupled with a loving, caring God have brought me what I so wanted.....a sharing, caring relationship with my only daughter. So my new motto is true and works for me.....

"Goodness comes to those who wait for God's plan to unfold....." especially because I know that God is always with me, even when I'm impatient.......but I'm getting better.

Monday, November 25, 2013

A New Focus

Since my last post, I have tried to view people and situations from a more positive slant.  It has truly helped.  And I have been witness to several "mini miracles," which helped boost my morale....which in turn made it easier to go to work.

And like I've said before, blessings take many sizes, shapes and forms! Quite a few this week have come in the form of First and Sixth Grade students who attend a peer tutoring group I'm in charge of and which meets every morning before school at 7:15. A group of our Sixth Grade Beta Club students serve as mentors and tutors to ten struggling EL students. I have been impressed with the enthusiasm and dedication the Beta members have shown toward the task. They have taken to heart the idea that they are role models to these younger students and show up every morning eager to work.

As for the First graders....at firs,t there was hesitancy on their part.  After all, Sixth graders can be awfully tall and sometimes communication is difficult because of language barriers; however, smiles and high fives can say a lot. It has been amazing to watch the friendship and trust grow between the two groups. Some of the young ones who, at first, wouldn't say a single word can now be observed chatting happily with their mentors.....some have gone from knowing less than five sight words to being able to recognize nearly 100! The growth of self confidence in these sweet children is heart warming.

I must confess that when asked to head up this program and to change the focus of my job from assisting in writing instruction to targeting At-Risk EL students, I was less than enthusiastic. Quite honestly, the resentment was my way of handling the rapid fire changes going on around me...I felt that I was being punished....for what, I don't know....and pulled away from the thing I enjoyed the most....which was encouraging students to embrace writing as a means of self expression.

But you know what? Those changes came from my God, who knew there was a need somewhere else and that He wanted me to be part of meeting the need.  My anger was born of focusing on what I wanted rather than what God wanted for me. And He always knows what is best. Because, after all is said and done....it is His Plan.

So, now I am beginning to look forward to getting to work each morning....who wouldn't when there are 10 little six year olds waiting with big smiles and lots of hugs eager to hold my hand as we walk toward our room? It gets even better when the "big kids" greet their little buddies and the fun begins....yes, I said fun. Because to all of them, learning has become something to be enjoyed and shared.

Yep, God has a Plan and when I manage to stumble back onto the right track....life is good.

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Changes

I've been away from the blog far too long and for that I apologize.  Changes affect people in different ways.....for me, as long as they don't come at me all at once I can assimilate and move on.  Otherwise, I am an emotional wreck and prefer to withdraw from everyone and everything...including my writing. Hence my absence.

As with many changes, these have been beyond my control and are all work related. Without going into detail, suffice it to say there have been lots of changes and they've all come at a machine gun pace....with more changes promised.  Morale among the staff is at an all time low and the demands on our time have grown.  Our focus has always been to meet the needs of our students academically with a lot of love and hugs thrown in.  It still is.

My biggest fear is that the stress and turmoil is wreaking havoc on my health and that I will eventually lose my job because of it. I am reminding myself moment by moment that no matter what happens, God is watching out for me. He is going to meet my needs....not wants, needs.  I have only to trust in His promise.

Some moments I want to rant and rave and shake my fist at the Heavens because fear of what may happen overtakes me. Then I remember, it is during times like these that miracles happen...and a sense of anticipation fills my heart and I think, "What is God going to do now?"

Rather than focusing on the negative emotions, I need to actively look for the bright moments, the silver linings, the tiny miracles.....all those instances which cause light to pierce the darkness I've pulled around myself.....my life is meant to be lived in love, understanding, peace, joy....all those emotions which bind us together rather than push us apart. Pray for me to have the strength to live that way daily.