Glacier National Park 2010

Friday, May 2, 2008

what to do..

Most people look forward to the weekend with great anticipation as I once did. Now I see the weekend as two days of more intense scrutiny and a "chaperone" with me at every step. There are times when I long for the time when I was alone most of the time. Of course I felt the occasional twinge of loneliness however, I definitely prefer that to the hell I live through now. Sometimes it is so bad I feel that my very thoughts are being read and twisted to suit some nefarious campaign.
I don't do what I want to do because then I'm accused of some ulterior motive. At times I am forced to spend my whole weekend sequestered in the bedroom except for the times I'm doing laundry or cooking a meal. It is that or have to answer question after question about why I am the way I am and why I can't be happy with the way things have always been........Because that is NOT me!! Why am I not good enough? Why must I change and not the situation?
If I hear that I am going through a midlife crisis one more time I may just start screaming and never stop!!!!

1 comment:

Relaxin' with Books said...

More like a mid-life metamorphasis. Stick with it. You deserve to be happy. The status quo was not okay.