I long for the day when I no longer have to watch every word I say......every expression which crosses my face.....to have the freedom to be who I want to be....to find and experience my happiness..my dreams. At this point in my life I still feel the burden of pleasing everyone around me....and suffer the consequences if I don't. I feel as though I am living two lives.....the one the world sees and the one which exists in my heart and mind.....the strain of keeping the two separate can be somewhat overwhelming at times. The knowledge that one day I will live the life I choose keeps me motivated....keeps me moving to the future.
There was a time in the not so distant past when I thought I would die before finding my dreams....my happiness....but now.....well, I've discovered a strength within to continue living and working toward my dreams. And if I have to endure a time period where my every move...every emotion...every word is suspect....so be it. Those who try to keep me subjugated and subservient will not be allowed to win.