Crossroad

My heart is full
My mind racing,
Jumping in and out of memories, dreams, desires,
Not able to find a place to land.
Wanting only peace but finding instead
Chaos, uncertainty, upheaval

"This too shall pass"

Tears flowing
A river of longing
From deep within
Blurring the path before me.
Choosing paralyzes and
Terrifies.

"Good things come to those who wait"

And so the choice is made.

I will wait

Reflections

In the mirror,
lookingback at me,
a mere reflection
of who I used to be.

Lean closer,
l ook deeper,
Past the tiny
wrinkles crinkling
the skin near my eyes.
Beyond the wiry strands
of silver mixed in
with the blonde,
Who is that?

Its the woman
I will be.

A woman empowered
by the thought
of independence,
A woman with an
untapped reservoir
of desires,
A woman willing to share
from a wellspring
of love,
A woman looking forward
with expectation.

Reaching back to memories
of past successes,
Drawing encouragement
from the girl who was me,
the one who with a smile
said to the world,
This is who I am!

Now, she's back,
the girl I was,
as a woman,
having survived the years,
the attempts
to keep her on another path,
in another role,
not suited to her spirit.

How freeing,
How liberating,
How downright exhilirating!
To be who I've
wanted to be
all along...

I'm walking with
attitude
into a future
I've chosen
and it feels
right.

What Love Can Be

Everchanging yet constant,
encouraging, demanding,
needy, giving,
makes life worth living.

kisses, hugs,
tender caresses,
knowing smiles,
sharing wishes.

searching, knowing eyes,
hands entwined.
mingled breath,
a soul's completion marked by sighs.

love,
to be two
yet one.

Boxed

Empty boxes scavenged from
everywhere,
Piled randomly across
my path,
Hungrily awaiting the flotsam
and jetsam,
of an ended marriage.

Choices to make.

What goes with me into my new life?
What memories will help me grow?
Which are only souveniers
of sadness,
destined to bring that sorrow
into my future?

My choices.

Each one a step
Moving forward,
sliding back.

I choose to move forward,
not be dragged down
by memories made of lies.

Stay True

So much pain,
So much sorrow,
Endless waves
ebbing and flowing,
crashing, growing.
No consistancy,
No view of what's approaching.

Blinded by the need
to protect.
Blindsided by someone else's
idea of love.
Wearing blinders so as to
protect my heart from what
I might see.

Floating now in the darkness
of my own choosing.
Resting in the knowledge
that within the quiet darkness
I will see what is true.

I see beyond the pain
of now,
the sorrow of today,
the crushing betrayal
of those who use love as a weapon.

The waves,
pushing me,
polishing me,
tumbling me,
toward the future,
toward myself.
Forward,
to the me that was.

Me,
who will once again thrive,
live to fight,
to be true to myself.
Just to be is to
Stay true.

So It Is With Me

Hollow,empty, barren, withered,
So it is with me.
Each implies a lack of life,
of living.
Yet there is a semblance of life,
of living,
still to be found.
Like a nest of fledglings beginning life in the hollow
of a tree,
Like an empty pitcher refilled
with cold, clear water,
Like a barren field plowed and planted
each spring,
Like a withered lantana with small buds
of green pushing through the soil.
So it is with me.
Hollow yet longing for new life,
Empty of emotion yet needing to feel again,
Barren of purpose yet longing for goals,
Withered by the pain of betrayal yet
yearning to be loved.
So it is with me.
For now.

My Tears

My tears flow endlessly,
Streams of broken dreams
from deep within me.
Each tear, a prayer,
a cry for an end to the
pain I bear.
Each tear like a diamond
forged by the weight
not of the earth
but of pain.
Glistening and clear,
brought forth with sharp tools,
some of steel,
but others with a much sharper implement,
words.

My tears flow endlessly,
streams of cleansing grief.
Each tear a step forward,
a declaration of determination.
Each tear a symbol,
of what has ended,
and what will begin.

My tears flow endlessly,
A river of life,
from a once emptied well.
Each tear a memory,
of what?
The future will tell.

My tears,
My dreams,
My pain,
My future,
My tears flow endlessly,
with hope.