Because of the unexpected appearance of a summer cold, I've had a lot of time to think today while stretched out on the couch, drinking hot tea and blowing my nose!
I've reflected on the events of the past two weeks. From the starting point of realizing my life as I had known it was over....two steps forward were 1.)accepting that fact 2.)changing the way I had approached life. One step back.....thinking about all the pain I'd caused people I cared about and wondering how they could ever forgive me.
Forward again....going to the people I'd hurt and accepting responsibility fot the pain my actions had caused and then asking for forgiveness. That was so hard, so humbling, so necessary to my healing.....listening to God and having to find the courage to do what He told me. Backing up.....holding on to the self pity and weeping for myself.
And so it has gone....and everytime, every step, whether forward or back....God has been with me. He sends encouragement through the Scriptures, through faithful Christians, through music......He truly is in everything! We just have to take our hands away from our eyes and look.
At this moment, I'm in forward mode. I know, however, that there will be moments when I move back because I am human and have bad habits to shed. I also have the assurance that God will be there to move me forward again.
Forward and back, forward and back...... life is a little bit like a dance. Thank goodness God knows how to lead beautifully!