Good News

Results from the biopsy are in.  There were no cancer cells in the tissue samples!  What wonderful news!  The surgery is still a go because the "thing" has grown to 3cm and looks to continue.  So I have an appointment with the surgeon who specializes in this type of surgery on July 23. We'll have to decide on a partial or total thyroidectomy....I'm voting for a total  so I don't have to worry about a further surgery down the road. You see I have another nodule in the other lobe as well.

As to the surgery...I'm a bit nervous.  But I do not have to be in charge....God is totally in control of everything because I asked Him to be.....I want Him to be because only He knows how everything is supposed to turn out. 

I have developed trust issues with regards to people because of poor choices in relationships...but that lack of trust in people has become total trust in God.  He is the ONLY One who wants the very best for me and if I am obedient to His guidance and stay in His Will, then the very best is what I'll receive.  Not what the "world" perceives as having the best but what God knows is best for me and all those who believe in Him.

It isn't always easy because I am human and very new at allowing God to guide my steps and my growth as a child of His. But every moment of every day I know I have to turn my failings over to Him.  When my mind pulls up unpleasant memories which make me angry beyond reason or make me feel hatred toward another, I hit my knees because I know my reactions are not appropriate as a child of God.....and I ask Him to fix that part of me that reacts that way. 

It's easier to say one forgives than it is to forget the hurt and the pain.  I'm trying to let those things go but can't do it on my own.......God knows it and is there whenever I cry out for His help and His peace....what a mess I would be if He wasn't.

Does anyone else feel this way?